Monday, March 14, 2005
men's weekend 2005
Men's Weekend 2005 is but a memory. A very hazy, non-descript memory. Here are the highlites as I see it:
-P.Dirty got an application to work at a Subway in Hurrican, WV.
-The fine men and women of the Virginia Department of Roads are my new heroes.
-That one jackass who works for the Maryland Department of Roads is my new mortal enemy.
-Peruvian moonshine is basically just tequila in a fancy bottle.
-Turkey bacon sucks.
-Just because toilet paper can be fashioned into a believable Sumo-Wrestler outfit, that doesn't mean it should be.
-Placing an unopened beer can in a fire will cause it to explode. If the fire isn't that hot, it will be a small explosion. If the fire is really hot, it will spew molten-hot, beer-flavored lava throughout the room. In theory.
-Team Jesus is a terrible name.
-Putting crappy music on an Ipod is like putting Tequila in a fancy bottle. It doesn't make it go down any easier.
-I suck at a card game called "Asshole." P.Dirty and B.P. Gonzizzle rule at it. Conincedence? I think not.
-Sleeping in a sleeping bag is the closest any of us will ever come to returning to the womb.
-Danny. That one guy's name is Danny.
-Bourbon-glazed chicken, shrimp, mashed potatoes, vegetables, salad, and bread is a good meal. Bourbon-glazed chicken, shrimp, mashed potatoes, vegetables, salad, bread, and CRAB LEGS is maybe the greatest meal ever.
-There's nothing cooler during a snowball fight than sneaking around behind the opposing team and raining down snowy death on them from behind.
-There's nothing un-cooler during a snowball fight than tripping over a branch, getting up running a few feet and smaking into a tree.
That's off the top of my head. Let me know what I forgot. Pictures to come.
Those are pretty good. Don't forget about the asshole that cleard out a cabin with his flatulence.
I'll hook you up with some pics too. You KY boys missed it when we all pushed a car out of a ditch for some lesbians. Good times.
If there's one truism to my life, it's that I always miss the lesbians. Watching you fall down the hill to get to their car on Sat night was pretty funny too.
don't forget seeing a stack on 17+ 30 pack cases of beer on your porch at midnight on friday night and then waking up at 9am on sunday and condensing the leftovers into 1 case at the most. take that liver!
One other truism. Hot lesbians only exist in Hollywood.
That sounds like a lot of fun. I am anxious to hear other stories at Kitty's.
Although Peruvian moonshine may taste like tequila, it does create a much larger flame when tossed into a raging fire.
1)You messed up one... Turkey bacon sucks, only if you cook it wrong. Else, it's scrumptious! Plus it's got 55% Less Fat than real bacon. You love it.
2)You forgot to mention donating $10 to throw 4 caps in a cup, is the best way to blow your money at MW.
I knew you blamed me for losing the caps tournament...
The is no right way to cook turkey bacon, unless there is a magic way to cook it so it turns into real bacon.
I didn't blame you man. We were going up against the defending champions and I hadn't even played caps in a year. I knew we were going to get murdered.
And you cook Turkey Bacon so it is cooked not raw. I don't care what the flocking package says. You still gotta cook it just like you do regular bacon. You failed. You failure!
Actually, Paul and I put it all back on the griddle and Paul cooked it another 10 minutes.
Result.... still not good.
You lose points for saying turkey bacon is scrumptious. Also...the word turkey or bacon, either together or by themselves, doesn't need to be capitalized. Unless it is someone's name of course. Hi...let me introduce you to Hot Dog.
Turkey = good.
Bacon = good.
Turkey wrapped in bacon = good.
Turkey sandwich with bacon = good.
Turkey bacon = terrible.
There were so many ways for turkey and bacon to work, either together or seperately. "Turkey bacon" is not one of them. I see turkey bacon as a marketing mistake. Don't put the word "bacon" in there if there's no bacon present. It's a bait and switch.
I rule at Asshole!
Yeah, but think how much longer you'll live than the rest of us. Of course, who wants to live longer when your days are filled with pork-substitutes?
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-P.Dirty got an application to work at a Subway in Hurrican, WV.
-The fine men and women of the Virginia Department of Roads are my new heroes.
-That one jackass who works for the Maryland Department of Roads is my new mortal enemy.
-Peruvian moonshine is basically just tequila in a fancy bottle.
-Turkey bacon sucks.
-Just because toilet paper can be fashioned into a believable Sumo-Wrestler outfit, that doesn't mean it should be.
-Placing an unopened beer can in a fire will cause it to explode. If the fire isn't that hot, it will be a small explosion. If the fire is really hot, it will spew molten-hot, beer-flavored lava throughout the room. In theory.
-Team Jesus is a terrible name.
-Putting crappy music on an Ipod is like putting Tequila in a fancy bottle. It doesn't make it go down any easier.
-I suck at a card game called "Asshole." P.Dirty and B.P. Gonzizzle rule at it. Conincedence? I think not.
-Sleeping in a sleeping bag is the closest any of us will ever come to returning to the womb.
-Danny. That one guy's name is Danny.
-Bourbon-glazed chicken, shrimp, mashed potatoes, vegetables, salad, and bread is a good meal. Bourbon-glazed chicken, shrimp, mashed potatoes, vegetables, salad, bread, and CRAB LEGS is maybe the greatest meal ever.
-There's nothing cooler during a snowball fight than sneaking around behind the opposing team and raining down snowy death on them from behind.
-There's nothing un-cooler during a snowball fight than tripping over a branch, getting up running a few feet and smaking into a tree.
That's off the top of my head. Let me know what I forgot. Pictures to come.
Those are pretty good. Don't forget about the asshole that cleard out a cabin with his flatulence.
I'll hook you up with some pics too. You KY boys missed it when we all pushed a car out of a ditch for some lesbians. Good times.
If there's one truism to my life, it's that I always miss the lesbians. Watching you fall down the hill to get to their car on Sat night was pretty funny too.
don't forget seeing a stack on 17+ 30 pack cases of beer on your porch at midnight on friday night and then waking up at 9am on sunday and condensing the leftovers into 1 case at the most. take that liver!
One other truism. Hot lesbians only exist in Hollywood.
That sounds like a lot of fun. I am anxious to hear other stories at Kitty's.
Although Peruvian moonshine may taste like tequila, it does create a much larger flame when tossed into a raging fire.
1)You messed up one... Turkey bacon sucks, only if you cook it wrong. Else, it's scrumptious! Plus it's got 55% Less Fat than real bacon. You love it.
2)You forgot to mention donating $10 to throw 4 caps in a cup, is the best way to blow your money at MW.
I knew you blamed me for losing the caps tournament...
The is no right way to cook turkey bacon, unless there is a magic way to cook it so it turns into real bacon.
I didn't blame you man. We were going up against the defending champions and I hadn't even played caps in a year. I knew we were going to get murdered.
And you cook Turkey Bacon so it is cooked not raw. I don't care what the flocking package says. You still gotta cook it just like you do regular bacon. You failed. You failure!
Actually, Paul and I put it all back on the griddle and Paul cooked it another 10 minutes.
Result.... still not good.
You lose points for saying turkey bacon is scrumptious. Also...the word turkey or bacon, either together or by themselves, doesn't need to be capitalized. Unless it is someone's name of course. Hi...let me introduce you to Hot Dog.
Turkey = good.
Bacon = good.
Turkey wrapped in bacon = good.
Turkey sandwich with bacon = good.
Turkey bacon = terrible.
There were so many ways for turkey and bacon to work, either together or seperately. "Turkey bacon" is not one of them. I see turkey bacon as a marketing mistake. Don't put the word "bacon" in there if there's no bacon present. It's a bait and switch.
I rule at Asshole!
Yeah, but think how much longer you'll live than the rest of us. Of course, who wants to live longer when your days are filled with pork-substitutes?
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