Thursday, April 07, 2005
fake an orgasm - revisited
Originally posted on Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Today we're all going to fake an orgasm.
All of us.
I don't care how you do it. And I don't care where. I don't even care if you're with someone when you do it. But you have to do it. That's your mission.
Some of you will simply sit at your desk and close your eyes, open your mouth a little, and let your breath catch in your throat. Others among you will get a little more into it. You'll tilt your head back and shudder every time another imaginary wave of sensation hits your body - each one punctuated by a breathy, helpless moan. Some of you may even get all weird and rig some sort of visual affect. I don't know.
Some of you will do it at work. Some of you will wait until you get home. Some of you will think to yourself how silly the idea is - but then later tonight you'll be by yourself and you'll start thinking about it and before you know it, you're making soft little sighs. You'll quickly become self-conscious and stop, but it'll be too late. You've already done it. You've already faked an orgasm.
Some of you might even fake an orgasm during actual sex. And maybe it's because I told you to, or maybe because it's the only way you can get the guy on top of you to stop thrusting at you like he's trying to rupture your cervix.
Either way, you'll fake one, and then you'll think of me and you'll feel a sense of accomplishment for carrying out your mission.
done and done.
I can always count on you.
I faked it in the bathroom so I could see my "OH" face in the mirror. Mission accomplished.
What did the other people in the men's room think?
I told them your idea and we all had fake orgasms in unison. It was like a fake group orgy.
my dog is looking at me funny now- I think I scarred her for life.
I'm simultaneously glad I brought so much joy to James' office and so much pain to the animal world.
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Today we're all going to fake an orgasm.
All of us.
I don't care how you do it. And I don't care where. I don't even care if you're with someone when you do it. But you have to do it. That's your mission.
Some of you will simply sit at your desk and close your eyes, open your mouth a little, and let your breath catch in your throat. Others among you will get a little more into it. You'll tilt your head back and shudder every time another imaginary wave of sensation hits your body - each one punctuated by a breathy, helpless moan. Some of you may even get all weird and rig some sort of visual affect. I don't know.
Some of you will do it at work. Some of you will wait until you get home. Some of you will think to yourself how silly the idea is - but then later tonight you'll be by yourself and you'll start thinking about it and before you know it, you're making soft little sighs. You'll quickly become self-conscious and stop, but it'll be too late. You've already done it. You've already faked an orgasm.
Some of you might even fake an orgasm during actual sex. And maybe it's because I told you to, or maybe because it's the only way you can get the guy on top of you to stop thrusting at you like he's trying to rupture your cervix.
Either way, you'll fake one, and then you'll think of me and you'll feel a sense of accomplishment for carrying out your mission.
done and done.
I can always count on you.
I faked it in the bathroom so I could see my "OH" face in the mirror. Mission accomplished.
What did the other people in the men's room think?
I told them your idea and we all had fake orgasms in unison. It was like a fake group orgy.
my dog is looking at me funny now- I think I scarred her for life.
I'm simultaneously glad I brought so much joy to James' office and so much pain to the animal world.
Post a Comment
