Friday, April 29, 2005
help me write a column
What's the name of the little divit between your nose and your upper lip? I need to know for a column. Whoever gets me the answer first may have their name printed in one of my upcoming columns. How's that for an incentive? Or maybe you won't.
philtrum - the lines and divot between the upper lip and the nose
Is that really it, or is that something dirty that will get me in trouble if I mention it in my column?
Is that kind of like a taint for your face?
That is really it. I promise.
http://www.lipaugmentation.com/otherlipprocedures.htm
It's funny that you ask, because in the column in question, I'm telling a joke where I usually refer to West Virginia as the taint of the United States because it's a useless piece of land that connects more important geography. But since it's for a newspaper, I couldn't use taint and had to change it to the "philtrum."
Why not use "perinium"? I know it's hardly any better, but thousands of mothers will get the reference right away. Graphically. Makes me squirm just thinking about it.
I'd just call it a lip divot. Kinda like a chin divot.
Presuming, of course, that thousands of mothers will read that column. I'm willing to presume that. And, if that is true, screw West Virginia. Start talking to those thousands of mothers! I mean, you know some of them are single. And, you're alienating all that primo damaged material from West Virginia.
Nevermind.
It's not so much that the word "taint" is a problem so much as the imagery was a problem.
And I'm not sure showing off my knowleged of taint technical terms is the best way to woo singel mothers. But then again, I've never tried.
Works for me.
Didn't you recently learn about the slight IQ deficit in Harlan? I mean do you really think a word like philtrum is going to get you more fans down here? Or, do you think maybe it would just lead them to think you are a snooty-big-city-pansy-boy?
Speaking of columns by the by, you had said you wanted to write a column about speed dating. There is one in Louisville at the Lucky Strike May 15th that would be appropriate for dinosaurs such as yourself. I've sworn off such things, but my friend Sara would be more than willing to show you the ropes.
I like to think of my column as a teaching tool.
In theory I'd like to write a column on speed dating. In practice I'm gonna have to run out of fresh material before I'm motivated enough to haul my ass to Louisville. Maybe your friend could write about it and I could sign my name to it?
I'm sure she'd be willing to, if you want an article written from the view of a petite blond woman who is in a flurry of desperation because her two younger sisters are both engaged and preganant. Could be an interesting change of perspective I suppose.
Meh, nevermind. I've already got a handle on small, blond, and desperate.
Well I'd write it, but it would come out tall, dark, and cynical.
Grandmothers are often drunk.
the common, non-overpaid face jockey term is Cupid's Bow. If anybody ever told me that I had a cake crumb on my philtrum I would deck them first and then check to make sure my fly was up. Cupid's Bow.
Cupid's Bow? Seriously? That's kinda fruity.
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philtrum - the lines and divot between the upper lip and the nose
Is that really it, or is that something dirty that will get me in trouble if I mention it in my column?
Is that kind of like a taint for your face?
That is really it. I promise.
http://www.lipaugmentation.com/otherlipprocedures.htm
It's funny that you ask, because in the column in question, I'm telling a joke where I usually refer to West Virginia as the taint of the United States because it's a useless piece of land that connects more important geography. But since it's for a newspaper, I couldn't use taint and had to change it to the "philtrum."
Why not use "perinium"? I know it's hardly any better, but thousands of mothers will get the reference right away. Graphically. Makes me squirm just thinking about it.
I'd just call it a lip divot. Kinda like a chin divot.
Presuming, of course, that thousands of mothers will read that column. I'm willing to presume that. And, if that is true, screw West Virginia. Start talking to those thousands of mothers! I mean, you know some of them are single. And, you're alienating all that primo damaged material from West Virginia.
Nevermind.
It's not so much that the word "taint" is a problem so much as the imagery was a problem.
And I'm not sure showing off my knowleged of taint technical terms is the best way to woo singel mothers. But then again, I've never tried.
Works for me.
Didn't you recently learn about the slight IQ deficit in Harlan? I mean do you really think a word like philtrum is going to get you more fans down here? Or, do you think maybe it would just lead them to think you are a snooty-big-city-pansy-boy?
Speaking of columns by the by, you had said you wanted to write a column about speed dating. There is one in Louisville at the Lucky Strike May 15th that would be appropriate for dinosaurs such as yourself. I've sworn off such things, but my friend Sara would be more than willing to show you the ropes.
I like to think of my column as a teaching tool.
In theory I'd like to write a column on speed dating. In practice I'm gonna have to run out of fresh material before I'm motivated enough to haul my ass to Louisville. Maybe your friend could write about it and I could sign my name to it?
I'm sure she'd be willing to, if you want an article written from the view of a petite blond woman who is in a flurry of desperation because her two younger sisters are both engaged and preganant. Could be an interesting change of perspective I suppose.
Meh, nevermind. I've already got a handle on small, blond, and desperate.
Well I'd write it, but it would come out tall, dark, and cynical.
Grandmothers are often drunk.
the common, non-overpaid face jockey term is Cupid's Bow. If anybody ever told me that I had a cake crumb on my philtrum I would deck them first and then check to make sure my fly was up. Cupid's Bow.
Cupid's Bow? Seriously? That's kinda fruity.
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