Thursday, April 07, 2005
project: p.p.
You poor bastards.
P.Dirty and I hatched a plan last night. Hatched it like an egg. We're starting a project. A SUMMER project. Except we started it last night and it's not really summer yet, but that's okay. It'll take a while to get it done, so we can use the extra nights.
All this summer P.Dirty and I will be ending our nights out by peeing in people's yards. People we know. Most often, but not exclusively, people who read this blog. I will then report on the said peeing here on my blog. I won't tell you, by name, who's yard we hit. I'll simply post their street address. It'll be up to you to figure out who it is. Unless it's your address, and then you'll probably know who it is. We won't announce the peeing. We won't come knock on your door when we're done. We'll sneak in like ninjas. Pee like ninjas. Then sneak back out like ninjas.
We made our first hit last night, but I'm having trouble finding the address in the phone book, because our target's number isn't listed. Gimme time. I'll get it.
We're coming to kill your grass. Watch out.
Also - to my readers in Texas, California, Virginia, and West Virginia: Yes, it will be a long drive, but that's just how much I love you. And want to pee on something of yours.
genius.
i'll keep a lookout for any deadspots on my lawn, if there aren't already some there...from me.
i imagine this will occur after a night of drinking, so i'm curious to see how my grass acts after it's drank some of your processed alcohol. can grass get drunk? trust me, if it's possible, my grass will find a way. it's so crazy.
It won't just be after nights of drinking. We'll also be peeing on yards at the end of any night out, whether we've been to the bars, the movies, or the synagogue with Dirty's parents.
Also, whoever's with us is expected to participate. So... you know... get ready to take your cathiter out.
Also, the P.P. stands for Paul and Patch. And it also stands for Pee and Pee. See what I did there?
what about pansy and pansier?
Touche douche.
wouldn't this have been a better winter project- I mean noone wants to whip out their pecker in an ice storm but atleast you could have left a calling card in the snow.
What about droppin a duece in someone's yard? Too much? Over the top? Yeah...nevermind.
Considering the acidic content of my urine, the calling card I leave on their grass should be just fine.
Dropping a "deuce" as you so eloquently put it, is too traceable. What with today's DNA testing and all...
You should pee on mailboxes so to mark your territory.
Why is everyone trying to improve Project: P.P.? It's already perfect. Everyone go make up your own projects!
side note: we will be doing this in seperate areas around or on the house and not together for fear of a wah wah sordfight.
also: if you have an outdoor pet, you might want to bring it inside.
Or don't.
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P.Dirty and I hatched a plan last night. Hatched it like an egg. We're starting a project. A SUMMER project. Except we started it last night and it's not really summer yet, but that's okay. It'll take a while to get it done, so we can use the extra nights.
All this summer P.Dirty and I will be ending our nights out by peeing in people's yards. People we know. Most often, but not exclusively, people who read this blog. I will then report on the said peeing here on my blog. I won't tell you, by name, who's yard we hit. I'll simply post their street address. It'll be up to you to figure out who it is. Unless it's your address, and then you'll probably know who it is. We won't announce the peeing. We won't come knock on your door when we're done. We'll sneak in like ninjas. Pee like ninjas. Then sneak back out like ninjas.
We made our first hit last night, but I'm having trouble finding the address in the phone book, because our target's number isn't listed. Gimme time. I'll get it.
We're coming to kill your grass. Watch out.
Also - to my readers in Texas, California, Virginia, and West Virginia: Yes, it will be a long drive, but that's just how much I love you. And want to pee on something of yours.
genius.
i'll keep a lookout for any deadspots on my lawn, if there aren't already some there...from me.
i imagine this will occur after a night of drinking, so i'm curious to see how my grass acts after it's drank some of your processed alcohol. can grass get drunk? trust me, if it's possible, my grass will find a way. it's so crazy.
It won't just be after nights of drinking. We'll also be peeing on yards at the end of any night out, whether we've been to the bars, the movies, or the synagogue with Dirty's parents.
Also, whoever's with us is expected to participate. So... you know... get ready to take your cathiter out.
Also, the P.P. stands for Paul and Patch. And it also stands for Pee and Pee. See what I did there?
what about pansy and pansier?
Touche douche.
wouldn't this have been a better winter project- I mean noone wants to whip out their pecker in an ice storm but atleast you could have left a calling card in the snow.
What about droppin a duece in someone's yard? Too much? Over the top? Yeah...nevermind.
Considering the acidic content of my urine, the calling card I leave on their grass should be just fine.
Dropping a "deuce" as you so eloquently put it, is too traceable. What with today's DNA testing and all...
You should pee on mailboxes so to mark your territory.
Why is everyone trying to improve Project: P.P.? It's already perfect. Everyone go make up your own projects!
side note: we will be doing this in seperate areas around or on the house and not together for fear of a wah wah sordfight.
also: if you have an outdoor pet, you might want to bring it inside.
Or don't.
Post a Comment
