For this one, if you're married, engaged, involved - pretend you're not. Imagine you're on a first or second date with someone. You go our for dinner then you go back to their place. Not for sex, you slut. Just to have a drink or to talk. You walk in the door. You see something the minute you step into their place and you know without a doubt that you will never be in a relationship with this person. Whatever it is that you see is a complete and total deal breaker. What did you see?


her dong...i guess that makes it his dong. *shudder  


My friend Patrick Drury sitting on the couch in his undies watching the family guy.  


I was starting to think you went off to Camp Happyland again and didn't tell anybody.  


the new Rob Thomas CD.  


Good call.  


a cat- they are nasty buggers.  


I hate me some cats.  


A naked man running straight at me.  


It's not so bad.

I mean...  


Four people in Harlan got that joke.  


I should apologize. I just realized how rude that sounded. I should.  


Whips, that ball with the elastic band like the one Ving Rhames has on in Pulp Fiction and the new Rob Thomas cd. Sidenote: welcome back from Philly Paul, I missed you. When are you going to hang out? seriously I thought we were Coo-day-la!  


Excuse me! My readership is a little larger than four people. Theoretically.  


here's my list:

crazy pills (self-explanatory)

std pills (i'm pretty sure these exist)

longaberger baskets

and/or her mummified parent sitting in a rocking chair in the corner..

wait for it...

wait...

and she kisses it hello!!!  


Do you really know how to spell "Longaberger?" Are you aware how often those baskets come up in your day to day conversation? It's like a fixation.

What if the girl had the "old people" dolls that sat in the living room of the 242 house?  


yeah- I can name 7 people who have at least skimmed your articles. Im still the only hardcore fan I've met thus far. People think I am wierd because of it- well at least I hope that is why they think I'm wierd...  


that is strange about the longaberger thang.

as for the old people dolls. if you're dating the chick that lives in that house, you've got bigger problems than her dolls.  


Touche.  


My ex loved Longaberger baskets. Those things are freakin' expensive. I won one for her when we played basket bingo....er....I mean when we went to the comic book store and they called my number for the door prize. Whew...that was a close one.  


I like how your attempts to look cooler in front of me just make you look like a nerd to everybody else.  


a poster of a rap "artist"  


I like the way you put quotation marks around artist as if drawing the term into question, grandpa.  


Most people would have said "guy on guy." I think it's disgusting yet appropriate that you said, "guy in guy."  


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