A lot of you have been asking me questions about my Poison Ivy. Poison Ivy is dangerous but highly treatable. What's more dangerous, though, is ignorance. Since our public schools and health departments have done such a poor job of educating the public on Poison Ivy, I thought I'd take this opportunity to answer some common questions.

Q: What is Poison Ivy?
A: Poison Ivy is a skin irritation charactarized by swelling of the skin and itchy sores. In some extreme cases it can lead to insanity, erectile dysfunction, and alcoholism.

Q: How does one get Poison Ivy?
A: Usually by coming into contact with a Poison Ivy bush. It is also sometimes found in horse manure and coffee. I got mine from a toilet seat.

Q: Is Poison Ivy contagious?
A: No. You can not get Poison Ivy from someone who already has it. That means you're free to shake my hand, hug me, share silverware with me, kiss me, make sweet, sweet love to me, or bathe me in fine oils.

Q: Can I die from Poison Ivy?
A: Yes. Yes, you can.

Q: Is it true that Poison Ivy first came to the United States because a Filipino immigrant had sex with a monkey?
A: Yes, this is also true.

That just about covers the big ones. Let me know if you have any other questions. Remember, knowledge is power.


You still answered my question, how did you get poison ivy? Obviously you contracted it from a Filipino immigrant that had sex with a monkey. You have the picture.

Plus you spelled immigrant wrong.

Is it true that Poison Ivy first came to the United States because a Philipino Immigant had sex with a monkey?  


FYI...Filipino.  


Thanks for the corrections, ass. If you go back and look, however, you'll see that I said I got it from a toilet seat.  


Oops...sorry. I heart you.  


I wonder who wiped the seat with the Ivy bush ?  


I found out at the doctor that poison ivy doesn't spread. If it seems to be spreading that just means several parts of your body came into contact with the plant and are just breaking out at different rates. You can't spread it by scratching. But if you don't wash the clothes you had on that might have become contaminated, you can keep getting poison ivy from them for years.  


I was thinking bedbugs for a while too. I should give you my prescription for super powerful Cortizone.  


Patch...I have poison ivy all over me...went to the Dr. today...I'm lucky,. I get poison ivy coupled with infection...got some roids...plannin my MLB debut...
aaron  


Poison Ivy is spreading like wildfire. Damn Filipinos and their loose morals when it comes to primates.  


No, no, go with it.  


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