My job requires me to read VIN's to other people over the phone. VIN stands for Vehicle Identification Number. It's a 17 digit code made up of letters and numbers. Apparently annunciation gets lost over the phone, because almost without exception, every person I read the codes to repeats them back to me. But when they repeat them they throw in that little "as in" thing. You know, I'll say "D" and they'll repeat it back, "D as in David."

I decided I could speed the whole process up, by doing the "as in" thing myself. If I confirm that the letter I said is actually a "C" then they wouldn't need to. So, I'm on the phone with a guy and I'm reading a VIN and I say, "C as in cat." Despite my confirmation, he repeats it back to me. But instead of using cat, he says, "C as in Charlie." As if correcting me. As if telling me that cat didn't actually start with a C, but Charlie does. As we continued, I realized that every "as in" the guy used was actually a name. "C as in Charlie," "T as in Tom," etc. And if I ever tried to use anything other than a name, he would subtley, but firmly correct me by changing it to a name when he repeated it back to me.

One day, as I was reading a VIN to this same guy, I realized there was an X in it. I got really excited because the only name I could think of that had an X in it was Xavier. For some reason, I really wanted to hear this guy say, "Xavier." When it came time for me to do the X, I didn't use an "as in." I just said "X." If I said, "Xavier" first it would take some of the fun out of it. So, I say "X" and he repeats back, "X as in X-Ray."

X-Ray?

That's not a name. It's a thing. He totally broke his own rule. And I'm sure it was because either 1) He had no idea that there was a name that started with an X or 2) Saying the name Xavier would make him feel weird and self-concious. Keep in mind I work in the automotive repair industry and little things like that have an effect on people.

Anyway, I was pissed. Pissed that he'd dared corrected me on the word "cat" but then then copped out with "X-ray." So now, whenever I read a VIN for this guy, I say, "K as in K-Ray, L as in L-Ray, P as in P-Ray." He pretends not to notice, but I can tell that every time I do it, it jabs a little knife into his soul.


That's funny as shit!

The only thing better would be if you made him cry.  


I will one day. One day...  


Not to burst your bubble, but he was using the military alphabet. I have started using it since I deal with a bunch of retired military personnel here at the office and with the my companies clients on different bases. Since we are "civilians" and live in our own world compared to "the military", we wouldn't know their secret language. I'm sure you've heard these being used...

A=Alpha
B=Bravo
C=Charlie
D=Delta
E=Echo
F=Foxtrot
G=Golf
H=Hotel
I=India
J=Juliet
K=Kilo
L=Lima
M=Mike
N=November
O=Oscar
P=Papa
Q=Quebec
R=Romeo
S=Sierra
T=Tango
U=Uniform
V=Victor
W=Whiskey
X=X-ray
Y=Yankee
Z=Zulu  


Not to burst your bubble, but you're wrong. Did you notice where I said he always used names? I specifically said he used "T as in Tom." Not "T as in Tango." Go work on your reading comprehension and then come back.

I'm sorry. I don't know why I lashed out like that. I... I'm just so lonely. I forget how to talk to people.  


Yeah...I can't read, I got it. U want two comentt on my spellin tu? Anyways, I've been "corrected" before on the phone with clients. I like to use different words to keep it fresh. Kinda like Jon Cryer in Hot Shots. Velveeta, Knuckle, Underwear. Just as good as victor, kilo, uniform.  


Why does everyone feel the need to try and correct me today? You'd all better learn your places, and quick.  


Just kidding. Actually, now that I think about it, he does say Boy for B and Uncle for U. So, you may be onto something. Well, except that for S he says Seduce. And he says it all slow and throaty. It makes me a little uncomfortable.  


I know my role. I'm your beeotch. I got that from Scrubs Season 2 when Turk was competing with the Asian chick for the trip to Mexico and Todd ended up going instead. Zach gave me his seal of approval to watch it.  


I KNEW YOU WERE KIDDING AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN OFFENDED IF YOU HADNT GIVEN ME A HARD TIME LIKE YOU DO EVERYONE ELSE!  


Affect is a verb! One can't "have an affect"!

Hilarious entry. Could probably flow better. But still hilarious.  


Thanks for pointing out the spelling error, Anna. And for the compliment?  


I don't know why there was a question mark at the end of that sentence.  


Huh, neither do I. Everybody hates intellectuals...  


And here I thought it was because I was beautiful.  


Hmmm... interesting stuff. I think I'll come more often.  


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