People used to tell me all the time that if you died in a dream you would simultaneously die in real life. And when I say people I mean my parents, this kid down the street named Andy McKewon, and several respected psychologist. I believed it, even though it's a completely stupid thing to believe and completely impossible to prove. But what can I say? I did a lot of drugs in my adolescance and was pretty sure some parts of the Bible were about me. So it's not like I had a good track record when it came to sound thinking.

Anyway...

I dreamed I died last night. I can't remember what happened. I think I was one of those Highlander guys from the movies and another Highlander killed me because, you know, there can be only one or whatever. So, I start to die in the dream and It's like everything's going black and I decide, "Okay, I better wake myself up so that I don't really die." I just barely managed to wake up. Seriously, I had to really push and strain to wake up. I think I was going into a coma or something. Creepy, huh? I went right back to sleep, though. And this time I dreamed that Thora Birch and I were traveling the country in a convertible and wearing tight little t-shirts. We stopped at a rest area to do it and some guy tried to rob us. I beat him to death with an alligator. I consulted a dream expert today about what all this means and he said it means that P.Dirty is gay. Well, duh.


a lot of people seem to be dreaming of your impending death.

ok, just two.

but still, that's pretty remarkable.  


If two people dream about your death, I think it's pretty clear that you're going to die soon.

And James, do I make fun of your nightly nocturnal emmisions?

The answer is yes. Yes, I do.  


was i wearing loafers?  


It says here, "Emphasises the gay."  


Leave my emmisions out of this. Some things you never grow out of, and I'm not complaining.  


I grew out of them. What's your problem?  


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