Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are engaged. This news comes amid stories of Katie Holmes being assigned a "handler" by Tom and his Scientology Overlords. If you know anything about Scientology, then you know marriage inside of their ranks begins with an ancient ceremony in which Cruise dresses up like Luke Skywalker and makes "peyew, peyew" noises like he's firing a raygun, while Holmes tapes cinnamon buns to the sides of her head and wonders what James Vanderbeek and his huge forehead are doing right about now. Unsuprisingly it ends with Katie making a tearful call to Nicole Kidman and apologizing for not believing her. Here's an AP picture of Cruise with his War of The Worlds co-star Dakota Fanning. Clearly Cruise is laying the groundwork for his fourth marriage.

I know that the freekatie.net website is getting a lot of publicity lately and they deserve it. I mean they were committed enough to buy a url and everything. I would like to point out though, that Holmes Watch 2005 started before I'd ever even heard of freekatie.net.


Great comment on the Cruise and Fanning. Once again...comedy gold!  


Thankyewww.  


you are the trendsetter of all things glorious and in no way important.

congrats.  


Truer words have never come out of your mouth.  


Tommy got squirted in the face with a fake microphone and was pissed off. I think the whole thing is hilarious.

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/cruiseap062005.html  


I saw that story. I need to go to BP's house and watch the video since none of my computers are fast enough. Thank God some camera crew is out there doing the Lord's work.  


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