Monday, July 11, 2005
the have you lived with patrick drury test - revisited
Originally posted sometime in 2004. Brought back because a new generation of readers deserve to know how big a part of their life I am.
The Have You Lived test proved to be one of my most popular post in quite some time. So, inspired by it's popularity, I've decided to create the "Have You Lived With Patrick Drury" test. It exist to measure how big a part I've played in your life to date. Each question you answer yes to is worth one point. So take the rest and revel in my undiluted egomania:
1. Are you related to Patrick Drury by blood?
2. Have you ever been related to Patrick Drury by marriage?
3. Have you ever lived with Patrick Drury for an extended length of time?
4. Has something Patrick Drury said to you changed your life for better or for worse?
5. Have you seen Patrick Drury naked?
6. Have you ever slept in the same bed as Patrick Drury?
7. Have you ever kissed Patrick Drury?
8. Have you ever engaged in any sexual activity with Patrick Drury?
9. Has Patrick Drury ever bought you a drink?
10. Has Patrick Drury ever converted you to a religion or school of thought?
11. Has Patrick Drury ever pissed you off to the point that you cursed either at him or behind his back?
12. Have you ever gone on a roadtrip with Patrick Drury (more than 200 miles)?
13. Have you ever gotten drunk with Patrick Drury?
14. Has Patrick Drury ever cooked for you?
15. Have you ever been invited to Patrick Drury's birthday party?
16. Have you ever been invited to Patrick Drury's Halloween party?
17. Has Patrick Drury ever told you unequivocally in no uncertain terms that he loves you?
18. Has Patrick Drury ever felt you up?
19. Has Patrick Drury ever seen you naked?
20. Has Patrick Drury ever expressed an interest in seeing you naked?
21. Has Patrick Drury ever taken you on a vacation or a trip?
22. Do your parents know and love Patrick Drury?
23. Did your parents bother to even tell Patrick Drury their name upon first meeting him?
24. Have you ever felt like punching Patrick Drury?
25. Have you ever fantasized about Patrick Drury?
26. Did you go to highschool with Patrick Drury?
27. Has Patrick Drury ever been in a position of leadership over you?
28. Has Patrick Drury ever given you a nickname or pet name?
29. Has Patrick Drury ever given you a gift?
30. Have you ever met the Connies?
31. Have you ever met the nephews?
32. Do you know something about Patrick Drury that you're sure other people don't know?
33. Has Patrick Drury ever hurt your feelings?
34. Have you ever thought you were in love with Patrick Drury?
35. Have you ever thought that maybe you hate Patrick Drury?
36. Has Patrick Drury ever hit on one of your friends?
37. Have you ever felt Patrick Drury was jealous of you?
38. Has Patrick Drury ever told you your sister was hot even though he knew it would piss you off?
39. Is Patrick Drury the godfather of your children?
40. Was Patrick Drury a part of your wedding party?
41. Were you a part of Patrick Drury's wedding party?
42. Has Patrick Drury ever made you really uncomfortable?
43. Have you ever blown off Patrick Drury's clumsy sexual advances?
44. Do you sometimes wonder what life would be like without Patrick Drury?
45. Has Patrick Drury ever hurt you physically?
46. Have you ever named a pet, child, or bodypart after Patrick Drury?
47. Has Patrick Drury ever made you laugh?
48. Has Patrick Drury ever made you cry?
49. Has Patrick Drury ever made the eyes roll into the back of your head, your toes curl up, and soft little moans escape from your lips?
50. Do you one day hope to accomplish any of the things on this list you haven't accomplished yet?
Now add up your score!
ITS A BIT OVERWHELMING...ALL THOSE QUESTIONS...BUT I WILL GIVE IT A SHOT, SINCE MOST OF THE ANSWERS WILL BE NO I MAY GROUP LARGE QUANTITIES OF THE SAME ANSWER TOGETHER
1.-3.- NO
4.ONCE YOU SAID "PRAY FOR MY BUNGHOLE, IT'S BURNING" I HAVENT BEEN THE SAME SINCE- NO REALLY YOU ALWAYS HAD VERY THOUGHTFUL ENCOURAGING THINGS TO SAY, YOU MADE COLLEGE MUCY EASIER SOMETIMES.
5.-11.- NO
12. I DONT KNOW IF OUR TRIP WAS MORE THAN 200 MILES, I DOUBT IT WAS...BUT IT WAS FUN NONETHELESS
13.17- NO
18.YES, LIKE MOST GIRLS PATCH LIKED TO TOUCH MY BOOBS (SHOULD I SAY BREAST?) OR EVEN MORE SO, TRY TO MAKE ME TOUCH THEM MYSELF
19.-24.- NO
25. FANTASIZE? HUH, WELL PATCH ALWAYS WAS HANDSOME AND FUNNY YET CARING..WHO WOULDNT
26.NO
27. DOES BEING AN UPPER CLASSMEN COUNT?
28.YES, THOUGH I GET THE FEELING THAT HE DOES THIS TO A LOT OF PEOPLE, HE USED TO CALL ME CHIA NANNY BUDDA OR GUTAHMA BUDDA SOMETIMES, AND I GOT THOSE NICK NAMES ON THE TRIP THAT WE WENT ON TOGETHER
29. NO
30.YES, IN COLLEGE AND AT THE WEDDING
31.NO
32. I WISH I COULD SAY THAT I DID, BUT I ONLY GOT TO SPEND TIME WITH PATCH FOR 3 YEARS DURING COLLEGE, MOST OF THE READERS KNOW HIM MUCH BETTER THAN I
33.NO
34. AGAIN, IF YOU HAVE SPENT ANY TIME WITH PATCH YOU MAY HAVE AT SOME TIME THOUGHT YOU WERE INDEED IN LOVE WITH HIM
35.-43.- NO
44. WEEL I LOST CONTACT WITH HIM FOR MANY YEARS BUT NOW WE HAVE REUNITED BECAUSE OF THIS VERY BLOG
45.&46.-NO
48. MANY TIMES!
49. NO
50.YES
I think you keep repeating these posts not due to their popularity but because you are getting lazy.
Don't feel bad, Jesse. Your answers were really sweet so I thought it was nice.
Too bad not everyone is as nice as you. I'm looking at you, anonymous.
I look forward to answering yes to most of these questions this weekend.
IS IT MENSWEEKEND KY?
I scored a 2. I feel like I don't even know you anymore.
This weekend is indeed Men's Weekend: Ky, Jesse. I'm so excited I can barely sleep at night.
Ian, I refuse to take the blame for this. "Come over for fondu," I say. "Let's go get mannies and peddies," I say. "Let's throw old computer monitors off the overpass," I say. But you're always too busy. You have no one to blame for not knowing me but yourself.
One day I'll be gone and then you'll be sorry.
Well now my score is a 3 because you have hurt my feelings!
....and now it's a 4 because you've made me cry.
I love you, Ian.
Now it's 5.
Post a Comment
The Have You Lived test proved to be one of my most popular post in quite some time. So, inspired by it's popularity, I've decided to create the "Have You Lived With Patrick Drury" test. It exist to measure how big a part I've played in your life to date. Each question you answer yes to is worth one point. So take the rest and revel in my undiluted egomania:
1. Are you related to Patrick Drury by blood?
2. Have you ever been related to Patrick Drury by marriage?
3. Have you ever lived with Patrick Drury for an extended length of time?
4. Has something Patrick Drury said to you changed your life for better or for worse?
5. Have you seen Patrick Drury naked?
6. Have you ever slept in the same bed as Patrick Drury?
7. Have you ever kissed Patrick Drury?
8. Have you ever engaged in any sexual activity with Patrick Drury?
9. Has Patrick Drury ever bought you a drink?
10. Has Patrick Drury ever converted you to a religion or school of thought?
11. Has Patrick Drury ever pissed you off to the point that you cursed either at him or behind his back?
12. Have you ever gone on a roadtrip with Patrick Drury (more than 200 miles)?
13. Have you ever gotten drunk with Patrick Drury?
14. Has Patrick Drury ever cooked for you?
15. Have you ever been invited to Patrick Drury's birthday party?
16. Have you ever been invited to Patrick Drury's Halloween party?
17. Has Patrick Drury ever told you unequivocally in no uncertain terms that he loves you?
18. Has Patrick Drury ever felt you up?
19. Has Patrick Drury ever seen you naked?
20. Has Patrick Drury ever expressed an interest in seeing you naked?
21. Has Patrick Drury ever taken you on a vacation or a trip?
22. Do your parents know and love Patrick Drury?
23. Did your parents bother to even tell Patrick Drury their name upon first meeting him?
24. Have you ever felt like punching Patrick Drury?
25. Have you ever fantasized about Patrick Drury?
26. Did you go to highschool with Patrick Drury?
27. Has Patrick Drury ever been in a position of leadership over you?
28. Has Patrick Drury ever given you a nickname or pet name?
29. Has Patrick Drury ever given you a gift?
30. Have you ever met the Connies?
31. Have you ever met the nephews?
32. Do you know something about Patrick Drury that you're sure other people don't know?
33. Has Patrick Drury ever hurt your feelings?
34. Have you ever thought you were in love with Patrick Drury?
35. Have you ever thought that maybe you hate Patrick Drury?
36. Has Patrick Drury ever hit on one of your friends?
37. Have you ever felt Patrick Drury was jealous of you?
38. Has Patrick Drury ever told you your sister was hot even though he knew it would piss you off?
39. Is Patrick Drury the godfather of your children?
40. Was Patrick Drury a part of your wedding party?
41. Were you a part of Patrick Drury's wedding party?
42. Has Patrick Drury ever made you really uncomfortable?
43. Have you ever blown off Patrick Drury's clumsy sexual advances?
44. Do you sometimes wonder what life would be like without Patrick Drury?
45. Has Patrick Drury ever hurt you physically?
46. Have you ever named a pet, child, or bodypart after Patrick Drury?
47. Has Patrick Drury ever made you laugh?
48. Has Patrick Drury ever made you cry?
49. Has Patrick Drury ever made the eyes roll into the back of your head, your toes curl up, and soft little moans escape from your lips?
50. Do you one day hope to accomplish any of the things on this list you haven't accomplished yet?
Now add up your score!
ITS A BIT OVERWHELMING...ALL THOSE QUESTIONS...BUT I WILL GIVE IT A SHOT, SINCE MOST OF THE ANSWERS WILL BE NO I MAY GROUP LARGE QUANTITIES OF THE SAME ANSWER TOGETHER
1.-3.- NO
4.ONCE YOU SAID "PRAY FOR MY BUNGHOLE, IT'S BURNING" I HAVENT BEEN THE SAME SINCE- NO REALLY YOU ALWAYS HAD VERY THOUGHTFUL ENCOURAGING THINGS TO SAY, YOU MADE COLLEGE MUCY EASIER SOMETIMES.
5.-11.- NO
12. I DONT KNOW IF OUR TRIP WAS MORE THAN 200 MILES, I DOUBT IT WAS...BUT IT WAS FUN NONETHELESS
13.17- NO
18.YES, LIKE MOST GIRLS PATCH LIKED TO TOUCH MY BOOBS (SHOULD I SAY BREAST?) OR EVEN MORE SO, TRY TO MAKE ME TOUCH THEM MYSELF
19.-24.- NO
25. FANTASIZE? HUH, WELL PATCH ALWAYS WAS HANDSOME AND FUNNY YET CARING..WHO WOULDNT
26.NO
27. DOES BEING AN UPPER CLASSMEN COUNT?
28.YES, THOUGH I GET THE FEELING THAT HE DOES THIS TO A LOT OF PEOPLE, HE USED TO CALL ME CHIA NANNY BUDDA OR GUTAHMA BUDDA SOMETIMES, AND I GOT THOSE NICK NAMES ON THE TRIP THAT WE WENT ON TOGETHER
29. NO
30.YES, IN COLLEGE AND AT THE WEDDING
31.NO
32. I WISH I COULD SAY THAT I DID, BUT I ONLY GOT TO SPEND TIME WITH PATCH FOR 3 YEARS DURING COLLEGE, MOST OF THE READERS KNOW HIM MUCH BETTER THAN I
33.NO
34. AGAIN, IF YOU HAVE SPENT ANY TIME WITH PATCH YOU MAY HAVE AT SOME TIME THOUGHT YOU WERE INDEED IN LOVE WITH HIM
35.-43.- NO
44. WEEL I LOST CONTACT WITH HIM FOR MANY YEARS BUT NOW WE HAVE REUNITED BECAUSE OF THIS VERY BLOG
45.&46.-NO
48. MANY TIMES!
49. NO
50.YES
I think you keep repeating these posts not due to their popularity but because you are getting lazy.
Don't feel bad, Jesse. Your answers were really sweet so I thought it was nice.
Too bad not everyone is as nice as you. I'm looking at you, anonymous.
I look forward to answering yes to most of these questions this weekend.
IS IT MENSWEEKEND KY?
I scored a 2. I feel like I don't even know you anymore.
This weekend is indeed Men's Weekend: Ky, Jesse. I'm so excited I can barely sleep at night.
Ian, I refuse to take the blame for this. "Come over for fondu," I say. "Let's go get mannies and peddies," I say. "Let's throw old computer monitors off the overpass," I say. But you're always too busy. You have no one to blame for not knowing me but yourself.
One day I'll be gone and then you'll be sorry.
Well now my score is a 3 because you have hurt my feelings!
....and now it's a 4 because you've made me cry.
I love you, Ian.
Now it's 5.
Post a Comment
