Last night Sara and I are sitting in Squires Tavern half-way listening to two guys play a bunch of really predictable country songs when, all of a sudden, they whipped out an Old Crow Medicine Show song. Sara and I stared at each other in disbelief. Then I fell off my barstool. Then Sara threw up. Then I got back on my barstool but fell off again. Then Sara caught on fire. It was a wild night. As far as I know, Sara is still on fire.

Squire Tavern is two blocks from my house. Two blocks! And I never go there. Prior to last night I'd only been there once and I got kicked out then because of my crazy neighbor lady. I have decided, though, that Squires Tavern is worthy of my business. I can't wait to tell them.


DAMMIT!!!

I always wanted to find "that bar" in Lexington. (You know of my dream). And I always wanted to go to Squires, too! I mean, "stumbling distance." Come on!!! Arrrggghghhh!

And now you've found it without me. (tear) Growing up sucks.  


And I'llll taaaake with me the memorieeeees, to be my sunshine, after the raaaaiiiin...

It's so haaaaard, to say goodbyyyyyye to yesterdayayaaaaaaa...  


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Shouldn't you be on fire?  


Yeah about that. Thanks a lot for just leaving me. I had to get some strange guy to take me home. We had a nice time though.  


If you want a ride home from me next time, don't be on fire.

What guy was it? The old guy?  


No the cowboy in "Notown". He was really nice, but he kept singing Achey Breaky Heart all the way home.  


I thought he seemed nice. I can't even be mad about it.  


I'll give you the details later.  


I think I can guess.  


i'll give you details now....
sara is one of my favs. she was a delight to take home. she was unphased by my numerous attempts to get her to touch my legs. she gave me some long answer about why she couldn't. something about some hot gym and a mouse... i don't know, I just heard bits and pieces, i was busy looking at her boobs. anyways, she gave me her number and told me to call her, but only really late because she was seeing this guy and he is all about the early bird special and drinking and going to bed before dark. oh well, i'm rambling.  


On the positive side, everyone reads my blog apparently.

On the negative side, some cowboy just called me old and tried to steal my girlfriend.  


now patrick and sara are holding entire conversations over his blog...

wow.  


That's because when we're together we don't have time to talk... know what I'm sayin'? Right? Right? Ha! Up High!




Do you guys like me yet?  


on a scale of 1 to 10... no.  


At lest you're finally acknowledging that there's a scale! One, here I come!  


God, I demand that make Sara with no H read this!  


there should be a "you" in there somewhere, I'll let you decide where.  


1. I can't make Sara do anything, whether it's reading comment sections or wearing a slutty nun outfit.

2. I was just about to make fun of you leaving the "you" out but you were quicker on the draw.

3. I'm going to start calling you "Bryan without an I." Partly because it amuses me and party because I want people who hear me mention you in conversation to think you're a pirate.  


#3 was genius.

and I wasn't suggesting that YOU make Sara with no H read this, I was demanding that God make Sara with no H read this. I'm still demanding stuff from him.  


If God makes her read it, I'm gonna hit him up about the slutty nun outfit next.  


i can work that angle if you want me to. i got connections with biggie Dios.  


i'm going to start calling you "Bryan with no Rrrrr," then people will be puzzled because Bryan with no R is Byan...but then they will think i'm a pirate.

as a side note, in your #3 comment patrick, you spelled party instead of partly. which in turn denotes your #2 comment of poor grammar as you both having poor typing skills. (note: some words in this post may be used incorrectly... i don't know. these pretzels are making me thirsty.)  


-Smack!!-  


hey, let's start calling mr. blogman patrick with no pee, which would make him but a trick.

ian rules!  


I am a trick. The kind you turn on the side.  


silly patrick, tricks are for...

i got nothing.

Ian 4 President!  


Tricks are something a whore does for money.  


Thanks for drawing everybody a picture.  


so, is it exclusive to whores? or can what james does for money be considered tricks too?

i'm so confused.  


That can't be considered a trick, because to most of the world, a can of cream of mushroom soup and an IOU scribbled on the back of a Denny's placemat is not considered proper compensation for a night of erotic roelplaying. But, to James' credit, he's never been opposed to working pro-bono. Or pro-boner. Or amateur boner.  


or tiny boner.  


or tiny droopy  


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