Tuesday, June 27, 2006
in which i interview myself
Back on my old blog I started an interview series. It didn't last long. I interviewed one person then stopped. Today I plan to ressurect that series, but this time to insure interest on the part of my readers, I'll be interviewing the most fascinating person I know: Me! Let's get started.
Patrick: First of all, you look great. Seriously, just awesome. Have you been working out?
Patrick: Honestly? No. Well, actually, I kind of started my workout back up last night after a many, many month hiatus. I went for a bike ride and then lifted some weights. It sucked. I'm really out of shape. And my bike is a piece of crap. The basket on the front has a whole in it. My puppy kept falling out.
Patrick: Fascinating. So, how are sales on the book?
Patrick: In the toilet. I sold about 60 copies to friends and family and then realized I'm kind of stuck until I get an isbn number. That's on hold though due to debt retirement. On the plus side, St. Awesome's is going to start carrying the book in it's bookstore and a friend of mine with a hair salon has asked for 20 copies to handsell to his clients. So that's nice.
Patrick: God, you're handsome. You mentioned debt retirement. How's that going?
Patrick: Ahead of schedule. I gave myself two years to pay off a large credit card bill and my truck. If all goes according to plan, I'll have paid off the credit card next month, which puts me just a hair over six months, leaving me about a year and a half for the truck - which is more than I'll need, I'm sure. The thing about the credit card is that I've been carrying it around for probably six or seven years, paying minimum payments - but when I finally got serious about paying it off, I've been able to do it in months. Clearly I've spent a big part of my life being an idiot.
Patrick: Stop! That's nonsense! I won't hear another word of it! Now, tell me, how's Sara?
Patrick: Sara is awesome. She came over last night and we tried to go to Wines On Vine, but they were closed for a private party. Instead we went to a piano bar called Oscars. We had a glass of wine and some shrimp cocktail. The shrimp were the size of my hand and cost over $3 a piece. That's ridiculous. They weren't even cooked! It was a rip-off. Thank goodness you could order by the shrimp.
Patrick: Outrageous! Not to be nitpicky, but that answer was more about shrimp than Sara.
Patrick: Sorry, I'm kind of private about my personal life. You understand.
Patrick: Of course. So, moving on, how was Men's Weekend: Ky?
Patrick: Awesome. We had a blast. It was nice to have kind of a bigger crowd for most of the weekend. And despite the size, we never lost that intimate feel. Probably because of all the making out. One of the best parts was going to Reverb on Sunday morning and being used as an illustration in No Nick Name Fred's message. Then there was a cookout!
Patrick: Sounds fabulous. Wish I could have been there. Any other big social activities planned?
Patrick: Well, I'm trying to put together a cookout/wiffle ball night with some friends. Also, there's the big annual Halloween party coming up in a few months. This year we might be discontinuing the haunted house and replacing it with something new I've been kicking around. More on that at a later date. There's also some summer concerts I'm excited about. The Counting Crows, Frank Black, The Sunday Valley Reunion. The Gin Blossoms are at the Dame too, but I can't go to that one.
Patrick: You lead a rich full life. Any closing thoughts?
Patrick: No.
Patrick: ...
Patrick: ...
Patrick: ... Really? Nothing?
Patrick: Nope. I'm good.
Patrick: Ok. Well, thanks for your time, I guess.
Patrick: No problem.
Patrick: ...
Patrick: ...
Patrick: Well, that was kind of a lackluster ending.
file under: meta
That interviewer seems like such an ass. You on the other hand did a good job answering his questions.
He was kind of a jerk, but man was he hot.
If you think the interviewer was hot, does that make you monosexual?
This is all so confusing.
You gonna go to the house with that Mexican Flag? Maybe you should stay there....
If thinking I'm hot makes me gay, then so be it.
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Patrick: First of all, you look great. Seriously, just awesome. Have you been working out?
Patrick: Honestly? No. Well, actually, I kind of started my workout back up last night after a many, many month hiatus. I went for a bike ride and then lifted some weights. It sucked. I'm really out of shape. And my bike is a piece of crap. The basket on the front has a whole in it. My puppy kept falling out.
Patrick: Fascinating. So, how are sales on the book?
Patrick: In the toilet. I sold about 60 copies to friends and family and then realized I'm kind of stuck until I get an isbn number. That's on hold though due to debt retirement. On the plus side, St. Awesome's is going to start carrying the book in it's bookstore and a friend of mine with a hair salon has asked for 20 copies to handsell to his clients. So that's nice.
Patrick: God, you're handsome. You mentioned debt retirement. How's that going?
Patrick: Ahead of schedule. I gave myself two years to pay off a large credit card bill and my truck. If all goes according to plan, I'll have paid off the credit card next month, which puts me just a hair over six months, leaving me about a year and a half for the truck - which is more than I'll need, I'm sure. The thing about the credit card is that I've been carrying it around for probably six or seven years, paying minimum payments - but when I finally got serious about paying it off, I've been able to do it in months. Clearly I've spent a big part of my life being an idiot.
Patrick: Stop! That's nonsense! I won't hear another word of it! Now, tell me, how's Sara?
Patrick: Sara is awesome. She came over last night and we tried to go to Wines On Vine, but they were closed for a private party. Instead we went to a piano bar called Oscars. We had a glass of wine and some shrimp cocktail. The shrimp were the size of my hand and cost over $3 a piece. That's ridiculous. They weren't even cooked! It was a rip-off. Thank goodness you could order by the shrimp.
Patrick: Outrageous! Not to be nitpicky, but that answer was more about shrimp than Sara.
Patrick: Sorry, I'm kind of private about my personal life. You understand.
Patrick: Of course. So, moving on, how was Men's Weekend: Ky?
Patrick: Awesome. We had a blast. It was nice to have kind of a bigger crowd for most of the weekend. And despite the size, we never lost that intimate feel. Probably because of all the making out. One of the best parts was going to Reverb on Sunday morning and being used as an illustration in No Nick Name Fred's message. Then there was a cookout!
Patrick: Sounds fabulous. Wish I could have been there. Any other big social activities planned?
Patrick: Well, I'm trying to put together a cookout/wiffle ball night with some friends. Also, there's the big annual Halloween party coming up in a few months. This year we might be discontinuing the haunted house and replacing it with something new I've been kicking around. More on that at a later date. There's also some summer concerts I'm excited about. The Counting Crows, Frank Black, The Sunday Valley Reunion. The Gin Blossoms are at the Dame too, but I can't go to that one.
Patrick: You lead a rich full life. Any closing thoughts?
Patrick: No.
Patrick: ...
Patrick: ...
Patrick: ... Really? Nothing?
Patrick: Nope. I'm good.
Patrick: Ok. Well, thanks for your time, I guess.
Patrick: No problem.
Patrick: ...
Patrick: ...
Patrick: Well, that was kind of a lackluster ending.
file under: meta
That interviewer seems like such an ass. You on the other hand did a good job answering his questions.
He was kind of a jerk, but man was he hot.
If you think the interviewer was hot, does that make you monosexual?
This is all so confusing.
You gonna go to the house with that Mexican Flag? Maybe you should stay there....
If thinking I'm hot makes me gay, then so be it.
Post a Comment
