Monday, November 13, 2006
happy birthday
Today is BP's birthday. In honor of this day, we will all now tell our favorite BP stories.
One time we were walking home from Kitty's and he decided he had to take a leak, so he steps behind this bush next to this building on Limestone (a busy street) and proceeds to pee. When he's done he steps out and a cop sees him and assumes he's up to no good. The cop flashes his lights at him, pulls over, and questions him. Bp, who's clearly in the wrong as peeing in public is against the law, argues with the cop about the severity of his crime saying something like, "At least I stepped behind a bush and didn't just whip it out on the street." Somehow the cop let him go without taking his night stick to him. That cop has the patience of Job. I like to think if this same thing happened today, in this time of distrust and fear of immigrants, BP would get the crap kicked out of him.
One day back in high school, a bunch of us went to the mall. A few of us split up and went our separate ways. I was walking with a few of our female friends, and one of them noticed this guy across the mall and thought he was really hot. So the so called "hot" guy walked our towards us, and the girls said, "Oh...he isn't hot. It is just BP".
wow. patch's story = some kind of awe. i remember arguing with guy, who wanted to cite me for not being completely sober, when i yelled at him saying, "I WAS BEING RESPONSIBLE! I'M WALKING HOME! I DIDN'T WANT TO DRIVE KNOWING THAT I WOULD BE CELEBRATING." the tone of my word clearly showed him the err of his ways.
and jc's story, equally full of some awe. i remember getting upset at the two (three?) girls in question for not recognizing me across the mall when they were supposedly my amigas. i obviously should've been upset for other reasons, like them saying i wasn't hot once they knew it was me. messed up.
There's so many... but there's two that crack me up every time I think about them....
One summer night, right before our senior year of High School started, a bunch of us were sneaking & drinking in this field behind this Church... and we're all sitting there just shooting the chit with each other... and I remember looking over and there's BP... getting in a fist fight with this tree that's maybe a foot or so taller then him... it's one of those tree's where you can bend it and it will come flying back at you... and BP seems to be letting this tree have it and the tree was totally letting him have it right back... it was better then Tyson vs Holyfield...
The other one was when he was at Radford, I believe it was his second year... and we were in this dorm and going back to his apartment.... and in the common areas of the dorms there were these small sofa seats... so as we're leaving BP proceeds to start pushing one of these seats down the hall... i'm like what are you doing... he's like, "It's cool, we do this all the time... we're going to put it in the elevator.." Just then the hall Resident pokes her head out her door, and asks BP what he's doing... I believe he was honest with her and told her he was putting it in the elevator... she told BP to return the seat & took down some information about him... anyways... it was hilarious... what did you get for that BP? I think you had to write a paper on something and some community service....
A side note to Danny's story about the tree.
We were all crashing at BP's that night and when we got back to his house, he went straight to his water bed and passed out.
Danny, James and I to sleep on the floor and fight over his dirty clothes for bedding.
Later that year I would get back at him by throwing up on his futon. That showed him!
I got another little diddy from high school. One night a bunch of us were hanging out at a guy's place that worked at the country club. He was over 21 so he always hooked us with beer. As the night was winding down, I am laying on a couch in the living room, and I see the birthday boy walking past me. The only thing past me was a corner that had a halogen lamp. I turned around and ELF, BP, Aquaman, whatever he calls himself these days, is urinating in the corner of the house. The guy, who is ginormously huge, grabs the 110 lb. Aquaelf, and tosses him to the ground and starts yellin, "What the hell are you doin?!?" "What is a matter with you?!?" So Aquaelf has no idea what the hell is going on. So someone says to him, "Hey...you pissed off Bo. You better clean that shit up!" So Aquaelf goes to the kitchen, grabs a rag, and starts wiping off the counters muttering to himself, but loud enough for everyone to hear, "Oh man...Bo is so mad at me." "I gotta clean. I gotta clean up my mess." So then someone asks, "What the hell are you doin?" He replies, "I'm cleaning up the mess. Bo is so mad at me." It was then that someone else yells at him and reminds him that he urinated in the living room and he is cleaning the wrong thing. Good times.
Speaking of the night you vomitted on his futon, was that the night of the donut incident? Cause if so, that was also the night that Danny ran around the neighborhood in the rain, in his boxers after bouncing on the trampoline with you...in the rain...in your boxers.
Yes, it was also the night you lost your virginity to Greg.
No really any good stories, unless you count that time that BP and I robbed that liquor store in Toronto so we could pay the Canadian prostitute to take his virginity.
But you've all heard that one a million times.
Happy birthday to the best fake doctor I know.
wow. this is like my own personal roast. lovely.
by the way, the ian puking on the sofa was indeed the same night as the doughnuts and naked neighborhood running. also the night ian broke a mirror by dancing on top of it.
and in the urination story, my excuse is that i had been drinking moonshine that night. first and last time i will ever do that.
for sizzle's story. oh yeah, i got in big trouble. she threatened to have me thrown out of RU, but instead I had to write a paper on the ill-effects of alcohol. it was a very hard assignment to complete, seeing as how i was drunk when i wrote it.
hey oh!
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One time we were walking home from Kitty's and he decided he had to take a leak, so he steps behind this bush next to this building on Limestone (a busy street) and proceeds to pee. When he's done he steps out and a cop sees him and assumes he's up to no good. The cop flashes his lights at him, pulls over, and questions him. Bp, who's clearly in the wrong as peeing in public is against the law, argues with the cop about the severity of his crime saying something like, "At least I stepped behind a bush and didn't just whip it out on the street." Somehow the cop let him go without taking his night stick to him. That cop has the patience of Job. I like to think if this same thing happened today, in this time of distrust and fear of immigrants, BP would get the crap kicked out of him.
One day back in high school, a bunch of us went to the mall. A few of us split up and went our separate ways. I was walking with a few of our female friends, and one of them noticed this guy across the mall and thought he was really hot. So the so called "hot" guy walked our towards us, and the girls said, "Oh...he isn't hot. It is just BP".
wow. patch's story = some kind of awe. i remember arguing with guy, who wanted to cite me for not being completely sober, when i yelled at him saying, "I WAS BEING RESPONSIBLE! I'M WALKING HOME! I DIDN'T WANT TO DRIVE KNOWING THAT I WOULD BE CELEBRATING." the tone of my word clearly showed him the err of his ways.
and jc's story, equally full of some awe. i remember getting upset at the two (three?) girls in question for not recognizing me across the mall when they were supposedly my amigas. i obviously should've been upset for other reasons, like them saying i wasn't hot once they knew it was me. messed up.
There's so many... but there's two that crack me up every time I think about them....
One summer night, right before our senior year of High School started, a bunch of us were sneaking & drinking in this field behind this Church... and we're all sitting there just shooting the chit with each other... and I remember looking over and there's BP... getting in a fist fight with this tree that's maybe a foot or so taller then him... it's one of those tree's where you can bend it and it will come flying back at you... and BP seems to be letting this tree have it and the tree was totally letting him have it right back... it was better then Tyson vs Holyfield...
The other one was when he was at Radford, I believe it was his second year... and we were in this dorm and going back to his apartment.... and in the common areas of the dorms there were these small sofa seats... so as we're leaving BP proceeds to start pushing one of these seats down the hall... i'm like what are you doing... he's like, "It's cool, we do this all the time... we're going to put it in the elevator.." Just then the hall Resident pokes her head out her door, and asks BP what he's doing... I believe he was honest with her and told her he was putting it in the elevator... she told BP to return the seat & took down some information about him... anyways... it was hilarious... what did you get for that BP? I think you had to write a paper on something and some community service....
A side note to Danny's story about the tree.
We were all crashing at BP's that night and when we got back to his house, he went straight to his water bed and passed out.
Danny, James and I to sleep on the floor and fight over his dirty clothes for bedding.
Later that year I would get back at him by throwing up on his futon. That showed him!
I got another little diddy from high school. One night a bunch of us were hanging out at a guy's place that worked at the country club. He was over 21 so he always hooked us with beer. As the night was winding down, I am laying on a couch in the living room, and I see the birthday boy walking past me. The only thing past me was a corner that had a halogen lamp. I turned around and ELF, BP, Aquaman, whatever he calls himself these days, is urinating in the corner of the house. The guy, who is ginormously huge, grabs the 110 lb. Aquaelf, and tosses him to the ground and starts yellin, "What the hell are you doin?!?" "What is a matter with you?!?" So Aquaelf has no idea what the hell is going on. So someone says to him, "Hey...you pissed off Bo. You better clean that shit up!" So Aquaelf goes to the kitchen, grabs a rag, and starts wiping off the counters muttering to himself, but loud enough for everyone to hear, "Oh man...Bo is so mad at me." "I gotta clean. I gotta clean up my mess." So then someone asks, "What the hell are you doin?" He replies, "I'm cleaning up the mess. Bo is so mad at me." It was then that someone else yells at him and reminds him that he urinated in the living room and he is cleaning the wrong thing. Good times.
Speaking of the night you vomitted on his futon, was that the night of the donut incident? Cause if so, that was also the night that Danny ran around the neighborhood in the rain, in his boxers after bouncing on the trampoline with you...in the rain...in your boxers.
Yes, it was also the night you lost your virginity to Greg.
No really any good stories, unless you count that time that BP and I robbed that liquor store in Toronto so we could pay the Canadian prostitute to take his virginity.
But you've all heard that one a million times.
Happy birthday to the best fake doctor I know.
wow. this is like my own personal roast. lovely.
by the way, the ian puking on the sofa was indeed the same night as the doughnuts and naked neighborhood running. also the night ian broke a mirror by dancing on top of it.
and in the urination story, my excuse is that i had been drinking moonshine that night. first and last time i will ever do that.
for sizzle's story. oh yeah, i got in big trouble. she threatened to have me thrown out of RU, but instead I had to write a paper on the ill-effects of alcohol. it was a very hard assignment to complete, seeing as how i was drunk when i wrote it.
hey oh!
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