Monday, December 17, 2007

column

New column up at the Harlan Daily. It's about a new holiday I'm inventing. Also, in this one I used the word s-e-x multiple times. SCANDALOUS!

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One thing you need to emphasize for your new holiday is the sequence of events. Speaking from personal experience, it's extremely important to have sex before over eating and especially before all competitive activities like arm wrestling. Trust me, competition and over eating breeds contempt for your partner, and that never makes for a joyful love making experience.  


That's why professional competitive eaters never get any.

It's a fact, kids! Look it up!  


I'm in!  


That's what he said...to her.  


Cowards.  


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